Reflections

Happy last day of the year! 

I cannot believe that tonight we are saying goodbye to 2011 and welcoming 2012!


2011 has been a bitter sweet year for me. 

It started with so much promise and hope which was quickly ripped away in early January when I miscarried after our first IVF cycle. My hope was slowly restored as I changed Fertility Specialists in March and in May he took us through our first FET cycle which resulted in a BFP!  We were cautiously optimistic, but under the care of our FS we felt that this was going to be our take home baby. Whilst happy about our pregnancy news, our happiness was hard to focus on with my grandmother in and out of hospital battling with cancer. Sadly she lost this battle in early July just days before our 12 week scan and announcing our news to family and friends. In August we found out that our little miracle was infact a baby boy!! We also found out that my placenta was partially covering my cervix and the chances of a c section delivery was now on the cards. August also brought around the due date of Bubble which I found hard to stomach, despite being pregnant.  The rest of the year saw my pregnancy pass without any concerns or problems (what a blessing). In October our ob confirmed that I had placenta praevia and we booked in my c-section date and I turned 27. November included my beautiful baby shower where I was spoilt by my closest family and friends. In December I finished work and commenced my maternity leave and my pregnancy reached full term! 


Despite the sad times, I will remember 2011 as the year I was pregnant. I look back over the past (almost) 9 months and count myself so very lucky to have fallen pregnant again so I could experience carrying a life inside of me. I have enjoyed EVERY moment of being pregnant, even the uncomfortable parts. Every kick, wiggle and hiccup makes me thankful and I cherish my ever growing baby bump. 

So I guess with that reflection, it's time to say goodbye to 2011 and to welcome 2012. Cannot wait to meet our little man and to experience being a mummy. It's going to be a good year! 

Re-Booked

Had my ob appointment this afternoon. It went well. We now have a new birth date for baby locked in. My ob has organised it all with the public hospital and organised the anesthetist and everything else. It's nice to be back on track with things and know what's going on. I have to go and meet with the anesthetist early next week and he will just run through how the epidural works etc etc. 

Today at the appointment I had to sign all the consent forms and the ob had to run through all the possible risks/complications. No fun hearing about those things, but I understand they have to do it. The scariest thing for me is the possibility of a hysterectomy. There is a lot they can try before it comes to this point, but it still scares me a little! Trying not to focus on all these negatives though. I also have to go and have a blood test so they can cross match my blood and have some units ready up at the hospital (just in case). 

I am going to call the public hospital tomorrow and find out if I can go up and have a tour just to familiarise myself with the place. Plus I figure it might be a good chance to get information on the private rooms and whether DH will be able to stay with me etc. 

Bubba is still doing well. In a good position for the Caesar with his head down (but not too low down that he's in the way). He's still hanging out at around 3.2kg so I think the obs guesstimate of 3.5kg is going to be pretty accurate! Despite him running out of room I am still getting lots and lots of kicks and wriggles. I am cherishing every one of these and I know I am going to miss this so much once he's out!

Not much else happening. DH is off camping for a few days (and hopefully back tomorrow). I think he wanted one last getaway with his mates before bub's arrival. We don't have exciting plans for New Years..personally I couldn't be bothered and I doubt I will be able to stay awake until midnight anyway! We are staying home and have invited some friends round for a BBQ and drinks...just an open invitation so no idea if anyone will actually be coming but that's ok. My sister is going to come and hang out for a while but won't want a late one as she starts work at 6am the next morning. 

So the countdown is back on...cannot wait to meet our little man!

Merry Christmas!

I think my mum thought we might end up with a Christmas baby after yesterday afternoon! Thankfully bub is still snuggled away in my belly (and hopefully he stays that way until the new year!!).

I lost what I assumed was some of my mucous plug yesterday morning. Quite a large blob of gluggy looking brown stuff. I had been having quite a few braxton hicks the night before and that morning, along with some period type cramps. I didn't think too much of it, but my curiosity got the better of me and I started googling (never a good idea) which made me wonder whether I should call the midwives at the hospital just to make sure...I figured with the placenta praevia it couldn't hurt to be cautious either. So yesterday afternoon I gave the hospital a call and spoke with one of the midwives. She said it was best if I came in to be assessed as they needed to make sure I wasn't going into labour (because of the PP). She asked if I had my hospital bags packed and reminded me to bring them just in case.

DH was round at a mates place so I gave him a call...of course he chose this moment to not answer his phone!! I had his mates home number so called there after a few hopeless attempts at calling DH and sending a text which he never replied to. He was only about 20 minutes away from home so left once we got off the phone.

Arrived at the hospital about an hour after I had called. They were expecting us of course and showed us to one of the rooms. A midwife soon joined us and strapped me onto some machines. Bubs heartbeat came through loud and clear and she gave me a little button to press every time I felt him move or kick. Checked all my vitals and then started asking a stack of questions. She was lovely and put me at ease and didn't make me feel like a paranoid idiot for calling them! Although I'm sure they wouldn't have asked me to come in if they thought I was just being silly.

All up we were there for about an hour and all seemed perfectly fine with bub. I had one BH while I was strapped to the machine for monitoring but none of the cramps that had been happening earlier in the day and the night before. They checked with the ob on call and said I was free to go. She explained what I needed to look out for and when I needed to call them ASAP. Because of the PP I have to be a little bit more wary of any possible labour signs. She was actually very surprised that I had made it to 37 weeks with no bleeding given the PP.

Being at the hospital made me even sadder that I won't be having my baby there. It's so lovely and quiet and the staff are wonderful. Sucks that I can't be there...stupid placenta.

Christmas has been lovely so far. DH and I went out for dinner with my parents last night to a very yummy Thai/Malaysian restaurant. It was so good! This morning my parents, sister and her DP came to our place for our traditional family breakfast. Pancakes, ham and eggs with lots of maple syrup! Yum! We then all exchanged presents.

DH and I have spent the rest of the day relaxing at home. We went down the beach for a walk. DH and the dog even had a swim, but it was a bit rough for my liking. Can't believe how lovely the weather is here today after all the rain! Just perfect, and not too hot either!

We'll be heading up to my parents later this evening for Christmas dinner. My sister and her DP will be there, along with some of our extended family from mum's side. Should be a lovely night.

I feel pretty spoilt. DH gave me a new camera for Christmas. Been playing with it all morning. It's just a little point and shoot (as I already have an SLR) but it's packed full of cool features and I can even use it underwater!! Takes a lovely clear photo too. Be perfect for the millions of baby photos we will soon be taking!!!

This time last year we were feeling very blessed after our 1st IVF cycle had given us a BFP just days before Christmas. However, our little Bubble did not make it and we lost our precious angel early in 2011. It's amazing how much can change in a year...here I am, pregnant again but this time instead of right at the beginning, I am almost at the end! In just a few short weeks we will meet our son. We are truly blessed. 

I hope all my blogger friends are enjoying a happy Christmas, whatever your plans may be.

A Disappointing Change In Plans

Had an ob appointment this morning which has left me feeling quite upset. I'd like to first point out that bub is fine. He is now around 3.2kg and was happily wriggling and yawning away. The problem (once again) is my placenta. 

Ob had the report from the scan she sent me off to last week. Of course my placenta has not moved. It's actually been classed as grade 3 placenta praevia which now puts me in a slightly higher risk category. As the ICU at the private hospital I have been booked into has recently closed down, my ob now wants to deliver baby at the public hospital up the road (you know in case things don't go to plan once bub is out..scary things like me bleeding out). It's one of those better to be safe than sorry things, because if stuff does go wrong and I'm at the private then there would have to be a mad rush to transport me to another hospital...whereas if I'm already at a hospital with the correct facilities then it's not so bad. 

So the plan is for me to be a private patient at the public hospital under my ob's care. The catch is we are still waiting to find out whether or not they can fit her onto the surgery roster on the date we had already booked (or close to it). I thought they ob's office would call me back today but they haven't and when I tried to call it went to a message saying they are now closed until the 28th...so it looks like I'll be in limbo wondering what the hell is going on until then. Or even until my next appointment on the 29th. What I am concerned about is if they can't fit my ob onto their surgery roster is whether I'll be turned over to whatever random ob the public hospital has on staff that day...and I don't want that. I want my doctor. I don't even know if that can happen...but it's playing on my mind.

I had a good cry in the car on the way home. I am just so disappointed that I won't get to have bub at the private hospital. It's really lovely there, and the midwives are lovely and we would have our own private room with a double bed so DH could stay with me and baby. I don't even know if I'll get a private room at the public and if I don't then I'll be on a ward and DH will not be allowed to stay each night....

Plus I don't know what all their policies are in regard to Caesars. The private allow skin to skin time straight away, we could have had our own choice of music playing while the surgery was taking place, bub comes with you into recovery and the midwives encourage you to breastfeed straight away...all these lovely touches that were making me feel more comfortable with actually having to go down the c-section route and now I don't even know if they will happen. 

I know this isn't the end of the world and that worse things could happen...but right now this is not something I needed. I wanted things to go smoothly for the last few weeks and now I'll just be freaking out about it all. I was actually feeling relatively calm about the process until now. This change of plans has sent me into a tail spin and the worst thing is there is NOTHING I can do to change any of it. There is no way to fix it or make it any better...this is what has to happen in the best interest of me and the baby....I know that. But it doesn't make it suck any less.