Jitters

Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy 2012!

I managed to stay awake to see in the New Year (though not without suffering the next day). Our night was fairly tame. A few friends round, a BBQ, drinking (by others) but not to excess. It was a nice way to say goodbye to 2011 and to welcome in 2012. 

I am spending my days relaxing. Resting on the bed or couch and watching TV, surfing the net or reading. I don't feel like doing much else. My legs and back have been sore so I don't feel like leaving the comfort of home. This quiet period is giving me too much time to think though. While I am excited about meeting our little man, I am also petrified. 

I am nervous about the c-section and the possible complications from the placenta praevia. I know the likelihood of anything going wrong are slim, but I can't help but wonder whether I'll fall into that small percentage (just like with everything else). I know I should be thinking positively, and for the most part I am...but there's always that shadow of doubt floating round in the back of my mind. 

Once I get past worrying about the surgery itself, I start freaking out about the fact that we will then have a baby. It still (yes even at this late stage of the game) doesn't feel quite real. I still cannot imagine myself holding a baby that is mine. It's quite surreal. And then I start to panic...what do I know about babies?!? How on earth are DH and I going to look after this tiny person?!? What if I can't get the hang of breast feeding?!? And so on, and so forth. 

First time mummy jitters I am sure, but I just can't shake them! Hopefully once I am holding that tiny bub in my arms this will all melt away (or get worse...).

We didn't get a chance to tour the public hospital yesterday either which I am a bit annoyed about. I called to make sure it was still on and was told that they were too busy and would not be doing a tour that day. I got told to call again on Wednesday (the other tour day) and check if it was running. Seriously, why have set tour days if you are going to cancel them?!? I asked about private rooms and the woman I was speaking to had no idea and promised to look into it and call me back....which didn't happen. Frustrating to the max! Seeming today is a public holiday here, I will try and call the hospital tomorrow and see if I can get an answer about the rooms. I have talked to a couple of people who have birthed there and they seemed to think that as I am going in as a private patient I should get a room but that I may need to book it. Hopefully I can speak to someone who has a clue....but I'm not holding my breath. 

7 comments:

dj trish said...

Keep the faith!I wish you the best of health and Happiness and welcome you to check out my blog when time permits
Happy 2012!
Trish

China Doll said...

I feel the same about getting to take home our own, real newborn... I still can't really see it happening - not that I'm pessimistic or worried in particular, more that it just seems too good to be true :) xx

♥ Cass said...

I hope that you get to tour the public hospital soon and you like it. Not long now! so excited for you! xx

saranissa said...

All those feelings are so so understandable! I remember sitting on the edge of the operating table as they put the spinal in and shaking like a leaf and quietly sobbing. In those moments I would quite happily have said forget it all, I'm going home, I can't do it and I don't want to have a baby anymore... but of course you can't!

You will get through it and you will be fine. And as for after the birth? Its a process of trial and error for both you and baby. Remember they don't know any different!

As you go through these last few days/weeks of pregnancy, try and make the most of them. Rest up, enjoy the time that you have left on your own and good luck!

saranissa said...

Just wanted to say that a friend of mine who was due 3 days before you, has gone into labour today. YOU'RE NEARLY THERE!!!

Typette said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
M46610 said...

You will get through it and I have to say, even if you have a plan for what will happen, it most likely won't go accordingly. I know this is horrible, but I always expected the worst, and my expectations were never met. It made things easier to handle.
The C-section, I can tell you, is quite 'WEIRD'. the feelings are unexplainable, but the procedure itself does not hurt. Don't worry, and trust your doctors, they do them all the time :-)
I know there is always that small risk, I worried about that too. It's easier to give advice than take it, but if I could've taken it, I would say "Why worry, it won't help anything." so true.
Time is almost here!! Don't worry about the hospital tour, you probably won't really get to see any of it anyway, especially after having a C/S ... I missed the tours of our hospital, I don't think I needed it anyway. Private rooms would be nice to know about! I would imagine for having a C/S and a newborn they would give you one b/c of the logistics of having the nurses take care of you and for the health of the baby. If that makes sense. Anyway, your time is almost here!! Sooooo exciting. Don't worry. You can totally do it all :-)
June @ www.becauseofmatch.com