flat

Our little TTC group had some wonderful news the other morning! It's been a long time coming too....

Nani got a BFP!!!

It's so nice to see someone who has been  through so much, and has waited so long, can finally have their happy ending! I am sending positive vibes her way. I so hope this bubba is extra sticky for her.

I am now hoping for a trifecta of positives...Green Sprout next and then me! In a perfect world this would be how it worked anyways...

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In not so happy news-Letrozole is still giving me hell this cycle.

-headaches
-hot flushes
-nausea
-mood swings (super sized)

It all seems worse than last cycle, well more intense is probably a better word.

I am still having trouble sleeping too. This is a combination of being too hot/too cold and the nausea. Plus my over active brain...

Decided last night to have a bubble bath and destress...it worked for awhile and I was able to switch off. Then stupid brain decides to get back to work and begins over thinking again. First thought that sprang to mind 'I will want to sell this house if we can't have children. I can't stand to live here with all these extra rooms if we can't fill them with babies'.

SERIOUSLY...BRAIN! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!

This was enough to set off the water works and ruined the relaxation of the bath.

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Today I just feel flat. Not up, not down...just blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I managed to get in contact with the psych I found. She sounds nice enough over the phone. The earliest appointment I could get was for 2 weeks time-Friday the 13th weirdly enough. I found out she also works through one of the IVF clinics here (infact I think its the one my FS works with), so she should know her stuff. Will be helpful to already be in contact with her if we do have to go down the IVF road too.

I am wishing I could have got an earlier appointment, but this will have to do. I am sure I can struggle my way through the next 2 weeks. Once I stop the Letrozole the mood swings may stop and I won't feel so shitty anymore...that will help.

So glad I worked up the courage (and was encouraged) to make the phone call. It's almost a relief that soon I will have another professional onboard to help me through this journey. Perhaps I can shed some of this emotional baggage and make myself feel a bit lighter.

Downside is, she charges $140 an hour (oooo something to look forward to once I complete my studies and become a registered psych!!) but I should be able to claim some back through our Private Heath Cover. She better be worth it!!

Well, I better stop procrastinating and get back to my uni work.