Truth

Monday, June 14, 2010

I left the SWB last week. A few of the other girls have left too. Unfortunately I think the support we were once giving each other just wasn't there anymore.

I can only comment on my own feelings and experience, but I know I commented a little while ago that there was distance growing between the TTCers and the UTDers. To me this has kept growing...I suppose it was inevitable as the pregnancies progressed and the TTCers were still not having luck..

In no way do I begrudge these ladies their pregnancies. It was obviously their time, not mine. But what I found hard to take was the support for the TTCers diminishing, yet we continued to support them as they reached each new milestone in their pregnancies. This hurt.

To me it felt like the only posts were updates on pregnancies and pregnancy concerns. This gets hard to take, especially when I was having no luck cycle after cycle and edging closer to hitting the 12 month mark of TTC.

I felt isolated from the group. And felt that whenever I posted it was ignored or only commented on by my fellow TTCers. I will stress that this was not always the way in this group..this only started happening in maybe the last month or so.

I am sorry it has come to this but I figured leaving the group quietly was easier, and to be honest I did not think anyone would notice that I had dissapeared.

I am sure that some will think that I have turned into a bitter, twisted TTC woman who can't stand pregnant woman, but this is not the case. I just don't see the need to be part of a group when I feel like an outsider. I used to feel a part of this group and comfortable participating. I felt close to all the ladies and was so happy to be sharing our journies together. Yes, I knew that some would progress quicker than others but I never suspected that I would feel so far left behind.

2 comments:

L xox said...

I often wondered where you have been (its giveitago by the way).
There came a time where I felt a bit lost in TTC threads, in Miscarriage threads and just about where I fit with everyone in general.
And when I came back to TTC almost everyone had moved on, and the threads that I once dominated with a few others, were foreign too me, with new people 'in control'.
I hope this cycle is YOUR cycle, as I have followed your journey for song long. Best of Luck!

gymjunkie said...

Hi Summa, Just wanted to say I was sorry to see you leave. I cared about your journey - alot! And I'm sorry things turned out the way they did... I feel a bit hurt, a bit lost, a bit confused and a lot saddened by the way things have gone but of course, I wish you all the very best with your journey and keep us posted on how things go! Things WILL work out for you, I know it : )