It hurts so much

Monday, August 30, 2010

New pregnancy announcement on Facebook today.


This one, for whatever reason, has hit me hard. I burst into tears as soon as I read it. Then I kept reading it over and over again, along with all the congratulatory comments.

I'm still weepy now.

It hurts. So much. More so when you know that they haven't been actively TTC and it was probably an 'accident' considering they are about to embark on a 3 month trip overseas which has been planned for quite some time.

When is it going to be my turn????
When do I get to announce happy news and have everyone congratulate me???

I want to be pregnant. I want to watch my belly grow and see my baby on an ultrasound. I want to hear my babys heartbeat for the first time. I want all those pregnancy related experiences...

I want it so bad it hurts. My heart aches.

How much longer is this going to take?
How much more dissapointment and heart ache do we have to endure?

I know I sound like a whinger and I know there are women out there who have been TTC longer than me...but a year IS A LONG TIME. I don't care what anyone shouldn't take this long to make a baby.

All I want is to know how much longer I have to be strong for. At least if I had an end date on this crappy ride, then I could suck it up and wait it out. But I don't know...and right now it feels like this will never end. That we will never get to see those 2 lines, I will never get to watch my belly grow as our baby grows inside me and we will never get to hold our child.

Right now all I see is cycle after cycle of dissapointment.