Will we????

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Took my last letrozole pill this morning...let's hope the side effects ease from here and the meds do their job this time round!

I got my vitamins delivered yesterday so I am hoping they will take effect soon and I will get some energy back. So sick of feeling drained and useless. Perhaps this will also help with my motivation to get uni work done...I can only hope!

After a good discussion with my wonderful friend Green Sprout, I have decided that it's time I came out of the 'infertility closet'! At present it's just me and DH in on this 'secret' plus the girls I met online originally.

It's been on my mind more and more as this journey keeps getting longer and longer. The issues with my inlaws has been stopping me to some degree, but as GS pointed out the positives of my family knowing truly outweighs the few negatives (SILs 10 cents worth of crappy advice included).

Now that I am made this decision, I must convince DH that we need to 'come out' as in the past he has had reservations in telling anyone. I will say that he may of changed his mind by now as I think the last time we discussed it was quite a number of cycles ago.

And then comes the issue of 'how do we tell people' and 'who in particular do we want to tell'?!?

This freaks me out and gives me butterflies in my stomach. I don't want to gather all the family and do a big announcement...it's not the sort of news you want to do that with. But do I just drop it into casual conversation?!?

'Hi mum, how are you? Oh by the way we have been trying to have a baby for over a year.' Don't know how well that would go down either...and then comes the part of having to reply the past wretched 12 months and how we got to this point. I am not sure I could recount it all without ending up in a blubbering mess on my parents kitchen floor.

But you can't drop news like this on people and not expect questions. Really, it just doesn't work like that. Us humans are a quizzical species.

So I figure once I tell my parents and sister...the news will trickle through the extended family on mums side as we are very close knit. I would leave it up to mum to tell them if she likes as I don't think I could keep telling it over and over again.

I think I will leave it up to DH to tell his family. It would only be his mum and sister, but as SIL is a gossip I am sure it will spread to the other relos quick smart.

Then of course there are our friends. Some joint, some individual. The ones I think we really need to tell is the friends who are getting married in November. DH and I are both in the wedding. They plan on TTC once the weddings done. I really think it's important they find out what's going on with us for 2 reasons.

1. I have spent a lot of time avoiding and making vague statements about kids whenever asked by them what we are doing. It seems it worked as they stopped asking about 6 months ago.

2. At least they will know why I go weird if they get UTD very quickly and can perhaps show a little understanding as to why I don't appear to be super excited for them.

I am sure we will tell other friends but it doesn't need to be done as soon as we 'come out'.

So when do we do it?
When is the 'right time'?
Is there ever a 'right time'?

I think I am getting slightly ahead of myself..perhaps I need to get DH on board first!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Lauren said...

I broke down and told my family in April because the stress of it all was killing me. I cried hysterically on the phone. Then we did it all again because we had to tell C's mom.

But basically I explained what the problems are, what we're doing, and what I need from them. I also emailed them some links from resolve.org that are for family members so they know what's appropriate to ask or say and what's inappropriate. That's actually been ENORMOUSLY helpful because I don't think they would have been so tactful or supportive otherwise.

Good luck!