2 posts in one day!!!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Hello hello!

It's been awhile since I updated so I figured while I am dead quiet at work is the perfect time to fill you all in (haha..that's if there is anyone reading!!).

I am what I think is CD6 today. AF has me baffled this cycle. I have never experienced anything like it..pre pill, on pill or post pill since we started TTC.

What I assumed was my period started Saturday around lunch time. Not very heavy but enough of a flow to make me think there was more to come. Fast forward about 3-4 hours, the flow has all but stopped and all that's happening is brown spotting. Sunday and Monday-brown spotting but only when I went to the loo. Tuesday-nothing until I go to the loo after lunch and when I wipe there is red blood...so I assume my period has returned?!? Fast forward another hour or so-brown spotting. Wednesday all I had was a bit of brown stained CM and today there is nothing.

What is up with that?!?!

Nothing like this in all my 14 months of TTC has ever happened to me. My periods were fairly normal. 1-3 days of medium/heavy flow then down to light/spotting. Not this on again off again stuff.

I suppose my body has picked a perfect time to go off the rails. There is no TTC action so it doesn't really matter. Actually it would have been nice if AF went AWOL for a week or so..and then that might have got my ovulation back on track with DH's time at home. Ha! As if she would be that nice to me!!!!!

I am off to see my FS tomorrow so I will run this whacky period by him to see if it's a concern. A little part of me was hoping it was implantation bleeding but I don't feel pregnant.

I had a very real BFP dream on Monday night. It was basically me getting up Tuesday morning and POAS and seeing those 2 lines appear. I bawled my eyes out in the dream then started freaking out wondering if I should call DH or wait to tell him in person. I also distinctly remember taking a photo of my test and sending it to GreenSprout & Nani to make sure I wasn't imagining things!! Was such a bummer to wake up and realise it was all just a crazy dream. Not the best way to motivate yourself out of bed!!!

DH is home right now until Monday. Have had a few little chats about IVF and everything but waiting to see what the FS has to say. I think we both realise that nothing more will be done this year due to the huge costs involved. Very sad for us but not something we can change right now unless a miracle happens.

DH has told a few more of his mates about what's going on and he has also told his mum. I am impressed that he wanted to tell his mates...I mean it's not exactly something guys would easily bring up in conversation! He is yet to tell his best mate though as he is overseas but due back anyway now so I suppose DH wants to do it in person. I was a little apprehensive that he had told his mum though...cos usually anything you say to her goes straight to the SIL. But I suppose it's only fair seeming my parents and sister know.

I am actually glad I wasn't around when he told his mum as when he mentioned IVF she said 'oh you can't just jump straight into that' and started asking DH if we had seen a specialist. Seriously!!!!!!!!!! As if you would want to jump straight into IVF if you didn't have to!!!!!!!! Grrrrrr!! What are we-idiots?!? I would have jumped down her throat about her comments if I was there! I mean come on...we have spent almost 15 months on this...it's not like we just decided yesterday!! GRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, sorry...MIL rant over!

Christmas is my new worry. I have come to the conclusion that it's going to be depressing this year (as last year I expected to be pregnant or have our baby by Christmas this year) and I don't think I can handle the big family get together with all the relatives including my cousins with their kids (and possibly SIL with her baby). It's just too hard. DH and I are throwing the idea around of going away for Christmas. Not sure where but the idea excites me and makes me feel I could get through the holiday season without too many tears.

Not too sure how the families will react but really if they want to pick fights I am more than happy to bring my crazy emotions out to play and take them on!!

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Location:At work


Nani said...

Awww Summa... sorry to hear about the fact that your dream wasn't a reality this time, but you know that it will happen in the future and GS and I will both be there with bells on to confirm the line.

As for your MIL... HUMPhhh! She is just an intersting one. But you know that you and DH are not jumping the gun on the IVF thing and you don't owe explanations to anyone.

I think going away at xmas is a great idea for you two! Hopefully you get to do that.

And finally. Lots and Lots of love to you my dear dear friend <3