catch up

Monday, February 21, 2011

Well the party and the jelly shots were amazing!! My plan of getting drunk went off without a hitch..I do not remember a lot of the night..just bits and pieces. I fell over a lot (one time I even missed the chair) so I am a bit battered and bruised. I kept everyone amused anyway! I got a bit weird at the end of the night (from what I have been told) and was a little cranky when everyone went home! The anger then turned into a drunken bawl...I remember crying and crying...so much that I was hyper ventilating and I felt like I was letting out all the emotions that have built up (and not just since the miscarriage but on this whole long and twisted TTC journey). In a weird way it was really good...Poor DH got stuck with dealing with this blubbering mess and eventually I passed out and he had to undress me and put me to bed....during this process I was passing in and out of consciousness and coming out with lots of random things. He said it took him almost an hour to get me into bed!!

I slept til about 10:30am on Sunday morning. Woke feeling dizzy, but not sick. I am very proud to say that despite the copious amount of alcohol I consumed, I DID NOT SPEW!!!! Got up, showered and made my way to the couch where I spent most of the day. A swim down the beach in the afternoon cleared my head and by dinner time I felt normal again. Not bad for my first major drinking effort in many, many years.

Another major event over the weekend was my sharing on Facebook with all and sundry the tattoo I got done. My caption even explained what the tattoo was in memory of...so now pretty much everyone I know, knows about our situation and what's been happening. I've put it out there and it actually feels really good. I am sick of hiding and keeping secrets. People need to know that infertility and IVF are not just things that older people go through...because to be honest that was my thought of the matter when we first started TTC. I also want people to be more aware of miscarriage and open the communication lines. It shouldn't be something that isn't talked about in our society when so many woman endure this heartache. So I figure being open about our journey is a good starting point...now I just have to work on how to spread this even further....

7 comments:

New Year Mum said...

Fantastic that you put it on FB... it's a lovely tattoo and such a beautiful tribute to your Bubble :) & great to spread awareness re pregnancy loss. One day everyone will feel more comfortable talking about it and research may have found an answer to IF and miscarriage/stillbirth. You're leading the way :) xoxo

Lauren said...

I was really impressed that you put it on FB. A "coming out" of sorts. I think that takes strength and it seemed to be well-received. You are an inspiration!

Let There Be Sims said...

Hi, I found your blog through ICLW Feb. and I am looking forward to reading and getting to know you through your blog. I too, am on this frustrating journey, with our 4th IVF coming up in just a few weeks. If you are interested, follow me at:http://wishingforthegiftoflife.blogspot.com/

Liz said...

I am impressed you outed yourself to the FB world. I recently suffered a miscarriage and find the entire topic of infertility/loss something we don't talk about in our culture. It is hard to not know anyone else if your shoes and to feel so alone because of this. I am impressed because I just give in to the "we don't talk about it" attitude.

C said...

Hi! Here from ICLW. I could not agree more with you about things like this needing to be put out there. The lack of people who are aware just astounds me, even more so when they say hurtful things and don't even realize it. Thank you for doing that.

Me and You, Just Us - Two. said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog! I am so, so sorry for your loss. I hope that your new RE that you consult with is a perfect fit.

Articia said...

You tat isbeautiful. And March is a lucky month if you ask an Irishman :)