another day..

Sunday, April 25, 2010

So here I am..CD20/7DPO and I feel NOTHING!!!! 

I don't know whether thats a good thing or not. In my mind there are 2 reason why I am not feeling any 'symptoms'. 
1. I have been keeping myself busy and have not had time (or sometimes energy) to obsess over every little thing that I feel; 

or..
2. There is actually nothing going on within my body and all the other cycles have been my imagination working over time!

I don't know which option I prefer?!?

Maybe it is the first one, as I have had DH here for an extra few days and this proves to be a great distraction. I mean when he's around I don't spend my days off sitting on the computer searching google for early pregnancy symptoms! 
Today I have done so much and I'm again exhausted..but I need to recover quickly as we have my parents and little sister coming round for dinner. Don't think it will be too late a night, but never the less I can't be yawning my head off at 6pm!

So what did I do today?
-cleaned the house
-two loads of washing
-helped DH clean the BBQ (it was disgusting!)
-baked Anzac biccies and a Mars Bar cheesecake
I think I have earnt my exhaustion!!

We watched movies last night. If you want to be scared senseless then watch 'Paranormal Activity'.

Had a realisation the other day watching a movie. One of the characters was pregnant and had a huge baby belly, which got me thinking. I cannot picture myself with a pregnant belly..I just cannot conjure up this image in my head. I cannot even begin to imagine seeing those 2 lines on a HPT. I don't know whether its my sad state of an imagination, or whether its the fact that I believe that pregnancy is so far out of my reach.. 
 

2 comments:

Green Sprout said...

Yep... that's about where I'm at too... the unimaginable bit. (Going to be another month and a half or there abouts before I have another TWW). It is a tad disconcerting to say the least. I think part of it is just getting so used to the negative outcome. Imagination comes from hope. If you're lacking the positive drive then seeing all things pregnant in yourself is going to be difficult.

Keep your head up. It will happen for you. I believe it. No questions asked. xxxx

Summastarlet said...

Yes I know we will both get there eventually but as you said it's hard to have hope when you are so used to the negative.

Thanks for the encouragement. :-)