nothing like manual labour to keep your mind off things!

Friday, April 23, 2010

DH decided that today we would tackle the garden...Mammoth task as we are surrounded by rainforest and live on almost an acre of land. Also...we have kept putting it off as everytime DH comes home it seems to rain!

Off DH went to buy a chainsaw..gotta love boys and their toys!! LOL 

So I spent the day lugging cut down tree branches, raking leaves and weeding out garden beds (all the way along our long, steep driveway). I cracked it during the last stages of raking up all the leaves and stuff...decided I had done enough. DH was very good about it and said I could stop, but then I felt guilty and kept going! It's worth it though..everything looks really good!! :)

After a nice, long, hot shower and some late lunch I had recovered somewhat, when DH said we should take the dog for a walk down by the beach. I agreed, and 1.5 hours later we were home!! 

So now I am sufficiently exhausted and ready to curl up on the couch for the night. Sounds like a good plan for me.

It's a long weekend for ANZAC Day (but I always have Mondays off, so it doesn't really matter. DH is home until Tuesday as the rig he works on is being repaired. So he gets an extra few days home and is happy! 

Not sure if he is taking the new job now or not. They have put stuff in the contract that wasn't discussed on the he has to find out some more information before he makes the decision...I think he is thinking about staying put, but wants to talk to his boss and see what the chances are of being trained up very soon.

On the TTC front..I am CD18/5DPO and have nothing to report. A few twinges in my stomach, but was so busy today that I didn't think twice about it all really. I figure I will start testing in a week...I will be 12DPO by then, so I should know either way. 

Had a crap moment today, but managed to overcome it quite well and without tears. DH's sister is insistant on sending him text updates on her pregnancy...ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! It is quite frustrating, and while DH tries to hide it from me (cos he knows it upsets me), in some weird way I need to know. Todays was..'healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks'. I was silent after he told me, and then took it out on the garden until DH took the rake off me..and then I was ok. I mean thinking about it now, it still gets me down a little, but I don't want to cry. 

I am sick of crying about this process. I am sick of feeling crap everytime someone mentions babies or pregnancy. I am sick of letting TTC take over my entire life and invading my mind every second of the day.

After the 'news', a new song came on (from the ipod we were listening to). '3 Little Birds' by Bob Marley. The lyrics are quite apt, so I figure everytime I feel crap about TTC, I will think of this song. It might help?!? 


Green Sprout said...

You give me the giggles again and again. Not because I find your situation funny by any stretch of the imagination but you and I are actually very similar in the way we think and act. So I giggle because it strikes a chord and I can relate. In the way that we laugh at a comedian who picks apart the silly attitude and contradictions to logic which exist on mass in societ, your blog for me is the TTC version + a little more. (I have been caught spacking out at not wanting to do anymore manual labour/housework only to get release from obligation and yet finding myself back there out of guilt!)

Oh and I totally hear you about being sick of EVERYTHING.


No more to add... I'm still a little lacking in up & go at the moment but I am so much hoping this is your time and you can breath easy whatever his roster may be. FX for you always.