Cervix Clips, Appointments & Fear of Failure

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

So I walk in to my FS appointment yesterday thinking all I will be up for is an internal scan...it was this plus a whole lot more.

Internal was first just to check out my insides and take a quick peek at my ovaries. He said there was a small amount of PCOS changes but nothing that should impact on the upcoming process of IVF. Took some measurements of follies etc and I thought we were done!

WRONG!!!

Speculum came out to play, along with a catheter and a clip of some form which he then explained he would be attaching it to my cervix...The catheter was used to help measure my uterine cavity (I think). Clip was quite painful but it was over fairly quickly which I was grateful for.

I think this was the beginning of the end (of my dignity) but figure I should get used to stuff like this in preparation for pregnancy and birth..

Anyways FS seemed happy and ready to start me on Cetrotide (my FSH injections) once the 25th rolls round.

I made an appointment at the IVF clinic for next Friday (19th) to pick up my meds and learn how to use them all. It's all getting closer and closer.

I'm not feeling so nervous anymore either. I have been speaking with some ladies on BubHub that are going down the IVF road too and this has helped me immensely. Great to hear other peoples experiences.

My only fear now is the fear of a failed cycle. I am trying to stay positive and optimistic, but this thought continues to creep in. A failed cycle will ruin Christmas and be a crappy end to a crappy year. It could mean a possible break in TTC depending on our finances as I'm not sure whether the clinic would supplement more than one cycle. But I will keep pushing this thought deep down inside and won't let it out unless it actually becomes reality.

For now I will continue to think that we will get our Christmas miracle. We WILL be one of the lucky couples that has success on their first round of IVF. I will be pregnant before 2010 ends!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:At work

4 comments:

Nani said...

Yes you will

*nods like a crazy person*
*runs around with the Summa banner*

Green Sprout said...

Really, really glad to hear that you are feeling better about the whole process and it does help to talk to those who have been or are going down the same path. *hugs*

Keep that optimism high! It is going to happen!!!

*whips out banner and joins Nani*

Summastarlet said...

Oh what the hell...

*grabs a banner and runs around like a kid who drank a litre of red cordial*

Lauren said...

Oh it's so exciting that it's almost here!!!!!!!!!