Sunday, December 5, 2010

I can't shake myself out of this funk.

I'm tired. I'm moody. I'm scared.

Tonight is my last lot of theory. Well, asides from the trigger which I think they give me tomorrow after the scan and tell me when to do it. What if my follies aren't big enough for EPU??? I don't want to reach a dead end before we have had our proper shot. Would be another kick in the teeth...showing me that once again my body has failed.

I am trying to take this one step at a time. I have been trying to focus on getting through the injections but now they are almost over I can't help but look to the next stage...and the next...and the next.

This week is going to be HUGE if all goes to plan.

-first my scan to find out if EPU will be going ahead
-then EPU (and hoping we get a good egg number)
-then the 2 days wait to see if my eggs fertilise and make good quality embies
-and finally there is ET and the TWW....

At least DH will be here for all this (well minus most of the TWW). I will admit I am a little nervous about going into hospital and being put under for the EPU. But I think that's normal and my nerves won't be put to rest until I wake up after the procedure is over (and check my hand for the number of eggs they managed to retrieve).

Perhaps once I get through my appointment tomorrow morning I can relax a little more...