I am a Social Leper

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Either that or I smell...

Because people are avoiding me like the plague. To the extent of not even texting or calling me. I have still had no responses about DH's birthday party. Not one person. In our group if something social is mentioned, you get a response within an hour or 2. Not anymore...well not if it's us.

It's quite upsetting to me that our so called friends can be doing this. Especially when they know that I am alone while DH is away for work. Surely that warrents at least a 'thinking of you' or 'are you ok?' text message?!?!? I mean, that's not expecting too much is it?? Sparing the 5 seconds it takes...I can get that people may not want to see me face to face..I can accept that might take more time and they may be more comfortable in a group setting for that...but a text message....c'mon! We are all adults...surely you can get past your awkwardness for a second or two...

Last night I ended up getting so worked up over it that I posted a very deliberate Facebook status to express my anger/unhappiness. It read:

'It's times like these that you find out who your real friends are..'

Very quickly I received 2 emails from the most unlikely people. A very sweet message from a friend from school who has just moved interstate. I let her know what was going on, and she wrote back such a heartfelt and supportive message that almost had me in tears. See that's all it takes to make me feel like someone cares...just a token gesture. Her email was lovely and she said all the right things.

The other message was from another school friend who I have lost touch with over the years. But despite this she also sent a caring message asking if I was ok and if she could do anything for me. I didn't feel comfortable filling her in on our situation given we haven't spoken for so long, but it was a lovely gesture on her part.

I have had a few comments on the status. All quite supportive, but none from the friends who have been avoiding me.

This morning I received a guilt text from a friend. Asking what I was doing today and if I wanted to catch up this afternoon. I agreed thinking it would be a girl catch up just the 2 of us. Later another text sent asking if me and DH's mate (who lives with us) wanted to come for dinner...Not what I feel like at this point in time. Also the thought crossed my mind that perhaps her and hubby are going to spring a pregnancy announcement on us while at their house...(they have been TTC since they got married in November) and I definitely am not up for that! So I declined and suggested a girl catch up when she has free time.

Unfortunately, DH's mate decided to counter their invite with an invite to our house for dinner...and did not tell me until they had accepted this offer. I could kill him. But of course if I cancelled it then I would look like a bitch. I received a call soon after from the friend checking if this was ok...but of course being put on the spot like that I couldn't say no. So I just said it was fine. She made no mention of the girl catch up or of DH's birthday. I am not impressed.

Not sure how tonight will go. Of course there will be a gigantice elephant in the room that everyone tries to ignore. It will be awkward and no one will want to make eye contact with me. Great to feel awkward in your own home, isn't it?!? If someone does care to ask how I am, I am tempted to give them a very blunt and honest answer. Something along the lines of "It's been crap with DH away. I'm feeling very lonely and isolated. I don't sleep and I feel terrible". Be an easy way to add to the awkwardness, but I might feel slightly better...BUT as I am way too nice a hostess I will probably just smile and say I am fine and busy myself with getting drinks etc for the guests....

So there you go. Not looking forward to tonight. These friends are only coming round to see DH's mate (who is there friend also) and it's probably just more of a 'oh yeah she'll be there too'. Looks like there will be no more one on one catch ups with my girlfriend and group activities is the only way I can have any social life...

Isn't life awesome?!?!?