Decisions

Working week over...After the day I had Tuesday I was about ready to not go back, but the past 2 days made up for it and I survived the week. I am just glad that I can remove my counsellor hat and my work smile for 4 days. It's so tiring pretending you are ok.

Still waiting for my period to make it's arrival. Not sure what was going on with the cramps I was experiencing, but they seem to have stopped now...strange. Feeling bloated and my skin is super oily with lots of little pimples breaking out so I'm sure it's the start of PMT. Would be nice if I got my period before DH comes home again though..I don't think he can deal with anymore of my raging hormones! Poor guy.

Tomorrow will mark 2 weeks until I meet my new Fertility Specialist for the first time. It's already been a month and a half since I made this appointment so it feels quite weird that it is actually getting closer. Though it's still not close enough for me to get excited. Especially as I have no idea what to expect. I plan to go armed with a list of questions (and let me tell you it's going to be quite a long list) plus my scans and hopefully my entire file from the FS I have been seeing (if he plays nice and hands it over). So hopefully this will be enough information for him that he won't want to run anymore tests/scans over again..because if he wants to start all that investigative stuff all over again, well I will cry. I will burst into tears in his office and as I will be there on my own (the closest appointment I could score coincides with DH being away) I don't know if I will be able to stop. So I am desperately hoping that he just says we can start on a FET cycle as soon as we transfer our frosties to the new clinic..wishful thinking but it's all I've got to hang on to right now.

Our 4th wedding anniversary is coming up next month. I am contemplating booking us a weekend away somewhere very flashy and expensive...but then the sensible side of me wonders whether we should waste money on that and instead put it towards our FET cycle. So at the moment I am contemplating a romantic weekend away or IVF treatment. Guess which is winning?!? And please, no comments on 'oh maybe if you take the romantic getaway you will conceive a baby' because I know that if I bring this up to RL people I will hear this at least once...

I can't believe that this is what my life has been reduced to...