Monday, July 4, 2011

She's gone.

I'm a mess. I can't get hold of DH who is still away at work until Wednesday. I just want to talk to him and see if he can come home tomorrow instead. A day early is better than being here in the house alone.

I know the next few weeks are going to be hard. My mum is going to be an even bigger mess. I remember how she was when my grandfather (her father) passed away, and it was awful.

My sister's birthday is on Thursday..have to make sure that despite this sad time we make sure she has a happy day. I'm not sure how we will manage this, but I'm going to try my hardest. My sister has had a rough year and she deserves to be spoilt on her special day.

And then there's the scan on can we be celebrating a life and mourning another at the same time?!? It almost doesn't seem right, but I know that my grandmother would be thrilled for us and would not want us to hide our excitement.

I am pleased that she is no longer suffering or in any pain. She is at peace. And I keep trying to hold onto the thought that she has been reunited with my grandfather and they are together somewhere, looking down on us all.

I am taking comfort in the fact that my aunt (one of her daughters) was with her when she passed too. I am so glad she wasn't alone.

I'm sorry this is all over the place..just trying to sort through the million and one thoughts rushing through my brain.

RIP nanny. We all love you very much. You will be dearly missed. xx


Lora said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there.

lostintranslation said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Take your time to grieve and be with family. That's all that counts now. Hope DH can be with you very soon.

JM said...

I am so so sorry for your loss, especially going through it with your husband out of town.

I wish you and your family peace in getting through this difficult time.

Marissa said...

*hugs* I am so sorry for your loss.

knitting vixen said...

sorry to hear this x

Baby Hopes said...

Oh, I'm so sorry.... thinking of you.

Jenny said...

I'm so very sorry. Even knowing the end was near couldn't make losing such a beloved member of the family easy.

China Doll said...

I'm so sorry for your loss :( But I agree that your grandmother and grandfather will be looking down on you and will be happy for your good news. And I'm sure your family will appreciate the joy of new life at this difficult time xx

Kelli said...

So sorry about your grandmother. Sending you a hug and hoping your hubby will be with you soon. And you're right..your grandmother would be thrilled for you!