Sob

I opened the flood gates for tears and now I can't stop. I am a wet, blubbering mess.

DH and I had a bit of a fight yesterday when we spoke over the phone...well it wasn't really a fight. It was more him getting cranky at me and hanging up. Fine, that happens sometimes and usually by the next day he's over it. It was over something totally stupid too.

I try to call my DH this afternoon after I finished work (as he's on night shift and we speak when he gets up before he starts work at 6pm) and there was no answer. I tried a couple more times...no response so I send him a text and asked why he was ignoring my calls. I got a response just before I reached home saying he was still angry at me. Cue tears from me.

I called him again and he answered quite abruptly. I asked why he was still mad about something so stupid. His response was that he was sick of me whinging to him while he was away at work. I was slightly gobsmacked as yesterday was the first time I had brought up anything negative and I only spoke to him about it for a minute or so before he cracked it and hung up on me...our phone calls prior to this have been happy and catching him up on what I've been doing while he's away. No whinging at all.

He then proceeded to tell me that he doesn't want to speak to me if all I am going to do is whinge. I tried to interject and explain that he hadn't been receiving constant whinging calls from me...but he wouldn't really listen and my crying was getting to the sobbing point (which I think was annoying him further). So I went with 'fine I won't call you then' (in between sobs) but didn't expect the answer of 'good'. Of course this made me sob harder and he said he had to go to work. Conversation over.

So now I can't stop crying. I feel like crap. I feel unloved.

I know a lot of this is probably hormones running rampant, but I can't help but feel a little justified in my emotions....I mean I know it's tough for him being away from home and I know how hard he is working....BUT it's hard for me too. I miss him like crazy and I hate that he is missing out on parts of this pregnancy. It would be nice to have him home every night and help with dinner when I just feel too exhausted to cook, or to help with the housework when my back is aching. I make a special point of NOT whinging or complaining about any of this though...so to have him say that he is sick of me whinging every time we speak really hurts.

I'm sorry for the woe is me post. I know there are far worse things going on for other people and my problems are petty in comparison...but I just need to get it out.