A Disappointing Change In Plans

Had an ob appointment this morning which has left me feeling quite upset. I'd like to first point out that bub is fine. He is now around 3.2kg and was happily wriggling and yawning away. The problem (once again) is my placenta. 

Ob had the report from the scan she sent me off to last week. Of course my placenta has not moved. It's actually been classed as grade 3 placenta praevia which now puts me in a slightly higher risk category. As the ICU at the private hospital I have been booked into has recently closed down, my ob now wants to deliver baby at the public hospital up the road (you know in case things don't go to plan once bub is out..scary things like me bleeding out). It's one of those better to be safe than sorry things, because if stuff does go wrong and I'm at the private then there would have to be a mad rush to transport me to another hospital...whereas if I'm already at a hospital with the correct facilities then it's not so bad. 

So the plan is for me to be a private patient at the public hospital under my ob's care. The catch is we are still waiting to find out whether or not they can fit her onto the surgery roster on the date we had already booked (or close to it). I thought they ob's office would call me back today but they haven't and when I tried to call it went to a message saying they are now closed until the 28th...so it looks like I'll be in limbo wondering what the hell is going on until then. Or even until my next appointment on the 29th. What I am concerned about is if they can't fit my ob onto their surgery roster is whether I'll be turned over to whatever random ob the public hospital has on staff that day...and I don't want that. I want my doctor. I don't even know if that can happen...but it's playing on my mind.

I had a good cry in the car on the way home. I am just so disappointed that I won't get to have bub at the private hospital. It's really lovely there, and the midwives are lovely and we would have our own private room with a double bed so DH could stay with me and baby. I don't even know if I'll get a private room at the public and if I don't then I'll be on a ward and DH will not be allowed to stay each night....

Plus I don't know what all their policies are in regard to Caesars. The private allow skin to skin time straight away, we could have had our own choice of music playing while the surgery was taking place, bub comes with you into recovery and the midwives encourage you to breastfeed straight away...all these lovely touches that were making me feel more comfortable with actually having to go down the c-section route and now I don't even know if they will happen. 

I know this isn't the end of the world and that worse things could happen...but right now this is not something I needed. I wanted things to go smoothly for the last few weeks and now I'll just be freaking out about it all. I was actually feeling relatively calm about the process until now. This change of plans has sent me into a tail spin and the worst thing is there is NOTHING I can do to change any of it. There is no way to fix it or make it any better...this is what has to happen in the best interest of me and the baby....I know that. But it doesn't make it suck any less.