Reflections

Happy last day of the year! 

I cannot believe that tonight we are saying goodbye to 2011 and welcoming 2012!


2011 has been a bitter sweet year for me. 

It started with so much promise and hope which was quickly ripped away in early January when I miscarried after our first IVF cycle. My hope was slowly restored as I changed Fertility Specialists in March and in May he took us through our first FET cycle which resulted in a BFP!  We were cautiously optimistic, but under the care of our FS we felt that this was going to be our take home baby. Whilst happy about our pregnancy news, our happiness was hard to focus on with my grandmother in and out of hospital battling with cancer. Sadly she lost this battle in early July just days before our 12 week scan and announcing our news to family and friends. In August we found out that our little miracle was infact a baby boy!! We also found out that my placenta was partially covering my cervix and the chances of a c section delivery was now on the cards. August also brought around the due date of Bubble which I found hard to stomach, despite being pregnant.  The rest of the year saw my pregnancy pass without any concerns or problems (what a blessing). In October our ob confirmed that I had placenta praevia and we booked in my c-section date and I turned 27. November included my beautiful baby shower where I was spoilt by my closest family and friends. In December I finished work and commenced my maternity leave and my pregnancy reached full term! 


Despite the sad times, I will remember 2011 as the year I was pregnant. I look back over the past (almost) 9 months and count myself so very lucky to have fallen pregnant again so I could experience carrying a life inside of me. I have enjoyed EVERY moment of being pregnant, even the uncomfortable parts. Every kick, wiggle and hiccup makes me thankful and I cherish my ever growing baby bump. 

So I guess with that reflection, it's time to say goodbye to 2011 and to welcome 2012. Cannot wait to meet our little man and to experience being a mummy. It's going to be a good year! 

Re-Booked

Had my ob appointment this afternoon. It went well. We now have a new birth date for baby locked in. My ob has organised it all with the public hospital and organised the anesthetist and everything else. It's nice to be back on track with things and know what's going on. I have to go and meet with the anesthetist early next week and he will just run through how the epidural works etc etc. 

Today at the appointment I had to sign all the consent forms and the ob had to run through all the possible risks/complications. No fun hearing about those things, but I understand they have to do it. The scariest thing for me is the possibility of a hysterectomy. There is a lot they can try before it comes to this point, but it still scares me a little! Trying not to focus on all these negatives though. I also have to go and have a blood test so they can cross match my blood and have some units ready up at the hospital (just in case). 

I am going to call the public hospital tomorrow and find out if I can go up and have a tour just to familiarise myself with the place. Plus I figure it might be a good chance to get information on the private rooms and whether DH will be able to stay with me etc. 

Bubba is still doing well. In a good position for the Caesar with his head down (but not too low down that he's in the way). He's still hanging out at around 3.2kg so I think the obs guesstimate of 3.5kg is going to be pretty accurate! Despite him running out of room I am still getting lots and lots of kicks and wriggles. I am cherishing every one of these and I know I am going to miss this so much once he's out!

Not much else happening. DH is off camping for a few days (and hopefully back tomorrow). I think he wanted one last getaway with his mates before bub's arrival. We don't have exciting plans for New Years..personally I couldn't be bothered and I doubt I will be able to stay awake until midnight anyway! We are staying home and have invited some friends round for a BBQ and drinks...just an open invitation so no idea if anyone will actually be coming but that's ok. My sister is going to come and hang out for a while but won't want a late one as she starts work at 6am the next morning. 

So the countdown is back on...cannot wait to meet our little man!

Merry Christmas!

I think my mum thought we might end up with a Christmas baby after yesterday afternoon! Thankfully bub is still snuggled away in my belly (and hopefully he stays that way until the new year!!).

I lost what I assumed was some of my mucous plug yesterday morning. Quite a large blob of gluggy looking brown stuff. I had been having quite a few braxton hicks the night before and that morning, along with some period type cramps. I didn't think too much of it, but my curiosity got the better of me and I started googling (never a good idea) which made me wonder whether I should call the midwives at the hospital just to make sure...I figured with the placenta praevia it couldn't hurt to be cautious either. So yesterday afternoon I gave the hospital a call and spoke with one of the midwives. She said it was best if I came in to be assessed as they needed to make sure I wasn't going into labour (because of the PP). She asked if I had my hospital bags packed and reminded me to bring them just in case.

DH was round at a mates place so I gave him a call...of course he chose this moment to not answer his phone!! I had his mates home number so called there after a few hopeless attempts at calling DH and sending a text which he never replied to. He was only about 20 minutes away from home so left once we got off the phone.

Arrived at the hospital about an hour after I had called. They were expecting us of course and showed us to one of the rooms. A midwife soon joined us and strapped me onto some machines. Bubs heartbeat came through loud and clear and she gave me a little button to press every time I felt him move or kick. Checked all my vitals and then started asking a stack of questions. She was lovely and put me at ease and didn't make me feel like a paranoid idiot for calling them! Although I'm sure they wouldn't have asked me to come in if they thought I was just being silly.

All up we were there for about an hour and all seemed perfectly fine with bub. I had one BH while I was strapped to the machine for monitoring but none of the cramps that had been happening earlier in the day and the night before. They checked with the ob on call and said I was free to go. She explained what I needed to look out for and when I needed to call them ASAP. Because of the PP I have to be a little bit more wary of any possible labour signs. She was actually very surprised that I had made it to 37 weeks with no bleeding given the PP.

Being at the hospital made me even sadder that I won't be having my baby there. It's so lovely and quiet and the staff are wonderful. Sucks that I can't be there...stupid placenta.

Christmas has been lovely so far. DH and I went out for dinner with my parents last night to a very yummy Thai/Malaysian restaurant. It was so good! This morning my parents, sister and her DP came to our place for our traditional family breakfast. Pancakes, ham and eggs with lots of maple syrup! Yum! We then all exchanged presents.

DH and I have spent the rest of the day relaxing at home. We went down the beach for a walk. DH and the dog even had a swim, but it was a bit rough for my liking. Can't believe how lovely the weather is here today after all the rain! Just perfect, and not too hot either!

We'll be heading up to my parents later this evening for Christmas dinner. My sister and her DP will be there, along with some of our extended family from mum's side. Should be a lovely night.

I feel pretty spoilt. DH gave me a new camera for Christmas. Been playing with it all morning. It's just a little point and shoot (as I already have an SLR) but it's packed full of cool features and I can even use it underwater!! Takes a lovely clear photo too. Be perfect for the millions of baby photos we will soon be taking!!!

This time last year we were feeling very blessed after our 1st IVF cycle had given us a BFP just days before Christmas. However, our little Bubble did not make it and we lost our precious angel early in 2011. It's amazing how much can change in a year...here I am, pregnant again but this time instead of right at the beginning, I am almost at the end! In just a few short weeks we will meet our son. We are truly blessed. 

I hope all my blogger friends are enjoying a happy Christmas, whatever your plans may be.

A Disappointing Change In Plans

Had an ob appointment this morning which has left me feeling quite upset. I'd like to first point out that bub is fine. He is now around 3.2kg and was happily wriggling and yawning away. The problem (once again) is my placenta. 

Ob had the report from the scan she sent me off to last week. Of course my placenta has not moved. It's actually been classed as grade 3 placenta praevia which now puts me in a slightly higher risk category. As the ICU at the private hospital I have been booked into has recently closed down, my ob now wants to deliver baby at the public hospital up the road (you know in case things don't go to plan once bub is out..scary things like me bleeding out). It's one of those better to be safe than sorry things, because if stuff does go wrong and I'm at the private then there would have to be a mad rush to transport me to another hospital...whereas if I'm already at a hospital with the correct facilities then it's not so bad. 

So the plan is for me to be a private patient at the public hospital under my ob's care. The catch is we are still waiting to find out whether or not they can fit her onto the surgery roster on the date we had already booked (or close to it). I thought they ob's office would call me back today but they haven't and when I tried to call it went to a message saying they are now closed until the 28th...so it looks like I'll be in limbo wondering what the hell is going on until then. Or even until my next appointment on the 29th. What I am concerned about is if they can't fit my ob onto their surgery roster is whether I'll be turned over to whatever random ob the public hospital has on staff that day...and I don't want that. I want my doctor. I don't even know if that can happen...but it's playing on my mind.

I had a good cry in the car on the way home. I am just so disappointed that I won't get to have bub at the private hospital. It's really lovely there, and the midwives are lovely and we would have our own private room with a double bed so DH could stay with me and baby. I don't even know if I'll get a private room at the public and if I don't then I'll be on a ward and DH will not be allowed to stay each night....

Plus I don't know what all their policies are in regard to Caesars. The private allow skin to skin time straight away, we could have had our own choice of music playing while the surgery was taking place, bub comes with you into recovery and the midwives encourage you to breastfeed straight away...all these lovely touches that were making me feel more comfortable with actually having to go down the c-section route and now I don't even know if they will happen. 

I know this isn't the end of the world and that worse things could happen...but right now this is not something I needed. I wanted things to go smoothly for the last few weeks and now I'll just be freaking out about it all. I was actually feeling relatively calm about the process until now. This change of plans has sent me into a tail spin and the worst thing is there is NOTHING I can do to change any of it. There is no way to fix it or make it any better...this is what has to happen in the best interest of me and the baby....I know that. But it doesn't make it suck any less.

So This Is Nesting...

My nesting instinct has kicked in...big time!

Yesterday I baked short breads, made rum balls, cleaned out some more of my kitchen cupboards, painted the first coat on the shelves for bubs room, did some of the painting in the bathroom & went out and purchased the last of our baby essentials (baby monitor & mattress protectors). 

By 10am this morning I have done 2 loads of washing (and hung it out), cleaned the bathroom-including getting on my hands and knees to scrub the shower floor, cleaned out the rest of the kitchen cupboards and drawers & finished painting the shelves for bubs room.

I think that's pretty much everything on my list done bar cooking and freezing meals....I really do want to do this, but I just can't seem to find the motivation to cook! Hopefully my mum and sister will keep us in food for the first few weeks after baby arrives and I won't have to worry about DH and I starving! 

The nesting instinct is weird. I planned to relax today after having done so much yesterday and feeling a bit tired and sore when I woke up this morning, but I just couldn't help myself! I kept walking around the house and finding things to do and then once I saw them I had to do them right then and there. 

I really want to vacuum and mop the floors but I know I will be pushing myself too far if I try to attempt this on my own. Hopefully DH will be willing to help me do this once he gets home tomorrow. So in the mean time I keep looking at my floors and willing them to clean themselves...because I want them done NOW!!

What's Going On?

Less than 4 weeks until our little one arrives!! I cannot believe it. I don't think I will until he is in our arms. It's still hard to comprehend the fact that we will have a baby in our home very, very soon. 

Had an ob appointment last week and she sent me off for another scan to check on my placenta and also to check on bub's kidneys as apparently they were slightly dilated at the morph scan. I had the scan on Friday. Bubba's kidneys are still dilated but I am trying not to stress about this as the tech said it could have been because his bladder was really full. I have another appointment with my ob this Friday so will hold off on the 'googling' and ask her all the questions I have. Asides from the kidneys, bub is growing well. My placenta is (of course) still right in the way of baby's exit but I am not surprised about this. I think I am resigned to the fact that I will be having a c-section and understand that it's in mine and baby's best interest.

I finished work last Thursday. They threw me a lovely farewell morning tea and I even got presents! Earrings and some yummy body butters for me and a $200 gift voucher to spend on baby, a baby record book and a cute Lamaze toy. I feel very blessed to work with such a generous bunch of people. I think it's going to feel weird tomorrow when I don't need to get up and go to work! But I am glad I am done and can have a few weeks at home to relax and finish the last few things on my to do list. 


-pick out and have new carpet installed in baby's room
-have air con installed in baby's room (going to hold off until the new year to install)
-pick up furniture
-put together furniture
-set up baby's room
-decorate
-wash all clothes, blankets etc and put away
-clean up 2nd hand swing I bought months ago
-pack hospital bags for me and baby
-buy new mattress for bassinet
-set bassinet up in our room
-buy any last minute items
-baby shower (26 November)
-thank you notes for baby shower (bought the notepaper...now just have to write them!)
-attend breast feeding class (booked in for 30 November)
-have car capsule fitted (booked in for 30 November)
-cook some meals in bulk and freeze
-clean out kitchen cupboards (partially done..still a few more cupboards to go)
-clean out bathroom cupboard
-finish painting bathroom (don't think this will be done before baby arrives..unless DH does it over the Christmas/New Year period)
-clean out laundry cupboards
-clean out linen cupboard
-clean out study (it's become a dumping ground and it's a mess and I hate going in there)-decobweb outside of house
-wash windows (inside and out)
-stock up pantry on basics/essentials
-agree with DH on a list of baby names (I can't believe we still don't have any names!!)
-make a list of people (with phone numbers) to call/text after the birth
-clean car inside and out (before capsule is fitted)




I finished my Christmas shopping this morning. Got to the shopping centre nice and early (before opening time) and got a close car park and avoided the crowds. I have wrapped everything too and it's all sitting under the tree. This afternoon or tomorrow I plan on making short breads and rum balls...yum yum! Thursday I'll hit the supermarket early with mum and stock the fridge up with all the Christmas necessities. And then we will be all set for Christmas! I cannot believe it's this weekend!! We will be having a fairly laid back day this year. My parents, sister and her partner are coming here for breakfast on Christmas morning. Then we will head to my parents for dinner that evening, along with my sister, aunt uncle and cousins. DH's family are over in NZ so this is the first year we haven't had to juggle 2 families!! It makes for a nice change.

DH is home on Thursday so only 3 more sleeps! This past 2 weeks has gone fairly quickly. It's going to be lovely to have him home for 8 weeks!!! I think he is really excited now (about baby and the nice long holiday from work). This will be the longest he has been home since he started working away over 3 years ago. 

Bump Photos

Received the disc with our 'bump' photos in the mail on Thursday. I am so pleased with how they turned out. The photographer did an amazing job. I want to have some printed out and enlarged to frame but I'm not sure how I will choose!

Thought I would share a few with you all..

Some Photos

35 week bump shot

Space Mobile I found at Mothercare.





Washing the baby clothes.





Daddy's sock looks giant compared to bubbas!






Christmas tree.






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Updating The To Do List (again)

-pick out and have new carpet installed in baby's room
-have air con installed in baby's room (quote obtained; just need to book)
-pick up furniture
-put together furniture
-set up baby's room
-decorate
-wash all clothes, blankets etc and put away (clothes & wraps done..blankets & sheets to go)
-clean up 2nd hand swing I bought months ago
-pack hospital bags for me and baby (baby bag done; mine half done)
-buy new mattress for bassinet
-set bassinet up in our room
-buy any last minute items (just need a few more bits and pieces for hospital bag)
-baby shower (26 November)
-thank you notes for baby shower (bought the notepaper...now just have to write them!)
-attend breast feeding class (booked in for 30 November)
-have car capsule fitted (booked in for 30 November)
-cook some meals in bulk and freeze
-clean out kitchen cupboards (partially done..still a few more cupboards to go)
-clean out bathroom cupboard
-finish painting bathroom
-clean out laundry cupboards
-clean out linen cupboard
-clean out study (it's become a dumping ground and it's a mess and I hate going in there)-decobweb outside of house
-wash windows (inside and out)
-stock up pantry on basics/essentials
-agree with DH on a list of baby names (I can't believe we still don't have any names!!)
-make a list of people (with phone numbers) to call/text after the birth
-clean car inside and out (before capsule is fitted)

Tick Tock

Wow...past the 34 week mark! We are really at the business end of this pregnancy now. DH and I are anxiously counting down the days until our little boy will make his entrance into the world, and hoping that he stays put until then! Firstly because we want him to bake a little longer, but also because DH went back to work yesterday for his last 2 week stint before his nice, long holiday. Needing him to come home early could prove to be an issue as they have had some rain up at work and the guys on shift while DH was home were actually flooded in for a few days...I DO NOT want this to happen to DH!! That would just send me into mad panic. So here's hoping for our little guy to stay inside where it's nice and warm, and for the rain to hold off up north (just until DH gets home on the 22nd December anyway).

I haven't made anymore progress on my to do list since we set up the room...I've kind of lost momentum again. But I only have a few little things left to do so I'm not too worried. I have 4 more days of work left....1 this week and 3 more next week. I am excited to be finishing up, and to be perfectly honest I wish I was already done. I actually called in sick today as I just couldn't find the motivation to haul myself out of bed. I had a terrible nights sleep, my back hurt and I couldn't think of anything worse than sitting at a desk all day. So I stayed home in bed...hopefully I can get myself through tomorrow and then I'll have a few days off before I have to tackle the last 3 days!

I haven't blogged about it yet, but I have been having some issues with my MIL & SIL (again). If I had of written about it when it happened I think it would have ended up being a long, ranty vent as I was extremely pissed off and upset with them (more so SIL). SIL called up DH last week and started going on about how we should be going to antenatal classes (can't remember if I wrote about it or not but I decided to cancel them since I'm having a c-section and the classes focused mainly on natural births) and basically started accusing us of being bad parents and putting our child's life at risk by not attending them! The conversation went downhill from there (as you can imagine) and DH was less than impressed. Once the phone call ended, text messages began and she started 'pop quizzing' DH on baby first aid and telling him how hard it is to care for a newborn. Isn't she just the nicest sister?!?!

Anyway, to cut a long story short...DH put her in her place and made it clear that she needed to keep her opinions/advice to herself. So she's been quiet since then. I am just hoping like mad that she won't try and start more crap like this once our baby is here, because I'm telling you...I will not put up with it and I won't hesitate to tell her where to go.

To top it off, MIL came round on the weekend and started on about the antenatal classes as well...*rolls eyes* and then proceeded to ram some unwanted advice down my throat...I love how her and SIL think they are experts. I remained polite, but disinterested and that seemed to shut her up. Again, if she starts this crap once baby is here I will be telling her where to go. DH and I are not stupid. We are more than prepared for a newborn and know that it's not all sunshine and lollipops. But for some reason SIL & MIL insist on treating us like a pair of helpless idiots. I try to ignore them..after all these are the same people that keep telling me I won't cope when DH goes back to work...but it's hard to not let them upset me...especially when I am so hormonal and emotional.

Poor DH copped the mood swings while he was home...I swear I almost cried everyday for the first week he was home. Over the stupidest things (well excluding the MIL/SIL stuff) too. I don't think he quite knew what to do with me. But he was really good and instead of telling me I was an idiot he would give me a hug and a kiss. Bless him.

We have seen a preview of our bump photos that were done last week and I am so pleased with them! The photographer did an amazing job considering how terrible the weather was! Hopefully I'll be able to share some with you all soon.

Some Photos

I keep promising photos..so here they are! 
Enjoy!

 

Baby's Room

 close up of the cot

 space alien wall canvases (above the cot & change table)

 chest of drawers

 Playmat, Boucer & Giant Catepillar

 Amazing Rocket Ship Lamp (it even changes colours!)

 Sock Monkey (my mum couldn't resist..)