To Do List...Almost Complete!!

-pick out and have new carpet installed in baby's room
-have air con installed in baby's room (quote obtained; just need to book)
-pick up furniture
-put together furniture
-set up baby's room
-decorate
-wash all clothes, blankets etc and put away
-clean up 2nd hand swing I bought months ago
-pack hospital bags for me and baby
-buy new mattress for bassinet
-set bassinet up in our room
-buy any last minute items
-baby shower (26 November)
-thank you notes for baby shower
-attend breast feeding class (booked in for 30 November)
-have car capsule fitted (booked in for 30 November)
-cook some meals in bulk and freeze
-clean out kitchen cupboards (partially done..still a few more cupboards to go)
-clean out bathroom cupboard
-finish painting bathroom
-clean out laundry cupboards
-clean out linen cupboard
-clean out study (it's become a dumping ground and it's a mess and I hate going in there)-decobweb outside of house
-wash windows (inside and out)
-stock up pantry on basics/essentials
-agree with DH on a list of baby names (I can't believe we still don't have any names!!)
-make a list of people (with phone numbers) to call/text after the birth
-clean car inside and out (before capsule is fitted)


Amazing what you can achieve in a short time! I can't believe we have almost completed everything on my list!! Feeling quite organised now I look at this. Hopefully by the time I finish work on the 15th I will have done everything and I can spend my free time relaxing! 

Will post some pics of bubs room as soon as I get the photos on my computer! It's looking good!!

Belated Update

Thank you to those who left some wonderful, supportive comments on my last post about my feelings of failure because I will have to have a c-section. Greatly appreciated.

I've been a bit slack with updating, so this might be a bit of a long winded post. 

DH arrived home on Wednesday and it's been wonderful having him home! Again we have had a lot to do but we are making some serious progress with our 'to do list'. 


On Thursday we picked up the baby furniture and I also convinced DH to help me get most of the Christmas shopping done! I figured I don't particularly want to be waddling round the shops and battling crowds in the late stages of pregnancy. I still have a few things left to buy but I think I can get most online and have them delivered. Feeling very organised for Christmas which is a nice change as usually I leave it until the last minute! 


Friday we had an ob appointment. Our little man is looking well and is fast running out of room. He now weighs around 2.6kg. Ob guesses that he will weigh around 3.5kg at birth (just under 8 pounds) unless he has a massive growth spurt. He appears to be using my placenta as a nice, comfy pillow which made it hard for the ob to get a good picture of his face but she tried her best. My placenta still hasn't moved so it looks like we are still go for the Caesar. Little man spent the scan time yawning and waving his hands around...very cute.


Saturday was my baby shower! The weather was perfect (which I had been worrying about as rain was predicted) so we were able to set up outside on the deck. My mum and sister came round earlier on in the day to help get the house ready and to start the cooking. DH was set to work cleaning up the leaves and moving furniture around outside. The afternoon was just lovely. I had a wonderful time and it was so nice to catch up with my friends and family. My mum and sister did an amazing job with the food. It was a feast! Me (and bub) were totally spoilt and I was completely overwhelmed at the gifts received. I have very generous family and friends and I feel so blessed to have them in my life. The day was everything I had been imagining (and then some). Didn't get a chance to take many photos-too busy socialising but will try and share some soon.


Sunday was a lazy day. I was completely exhausted after all the business of Saturday and spent most of Sunday sleeping or watching TV on the couch. I guess I needed the rest! Plus it's definitely heating up here and the heat is taking it's toll on me. Luckily our broken air con was fixed on Thursday so I can now hibernate in the cool! 


Oh..I forgot about Friday night! We went to our 10 year high school reunion. It was definitely better than what I expected. I got to catch up with some people that I haven't seen in many years and it was really nice. Some people though, have not changed and still think they are 'all that' and couldn't possibly stoop as low as talking to you despite the fact that 10 years has passed since high school days! But I did expect this. DH had a great time too and made the most of me being his designated driver...he was a very happy man by the time we got home after midnight! 


Today we did a massive grocery shop and stocked up on expensive items (ie cleaning products, toilet paper, toiletries) plus pantry staples. Figured this will help when bubs first arrives and we don't want to head to the shops, plus it will keep the grocery costs down for a little while. I also cleaned out the car in preparation for the capsule being fitted this week.


Tomorrow the carpet in bubs room is being installed which means that we will finally be able to set up bubs room!! I'm hoping by the weekend it will be all finished. I managed to convince DH to put together the glider chair already as it's going to live downstairs for now since bub will be in our room for awhile to start with. It's so comfy but I think I will have to fight DH for use of it! I figure whoever has baby takes chair priority!! Hopefully that works in my favour!


Back to work tomorrow but only for a day. Then Wednesday I have my breastfeeding class at the hospital then I'm getting the capsule installed. Thursday I am hoping DH will take me to see the new Twilight movie & Friday afternoon we have our maternity photo shoot. Then we might be going camping over the weekend. So it's another busy week for us!

Bad Idea

Just watched some episodes of 'One Born Every Minute' and now the waterworks have started. Of course all the births shown in the episodes I watched were natural births. 

I just started to get so sad watching these beautiful little babies be born and watching how the ladies birthing partners supported them through their labours. DH and I are going to miss out on all that. I know that in the end we are still going to have our baby in our arms but I always imagined I would get the chance to try birthing naturally. 

I feel like I'm one big failure as a woman. 

I couldn't get pregnant naturally.
First pregnancy I couldn't stay pregnant naturally.
This pregnancy I needed drugs the first 12 weeks to help me stay pregnant.
And now I won't even be able to give birth naturally. 


What is wrong with me?


I know that the c-section is the safest thing for me and baby, but I just can't help feeling somewhat disappointed. I guess I didn't realise how much so until I started watching this TV show. 


And now I can't stop crying. I know it's not just this. There's a few other things rattling around in my head which have upset me. Nothing I can verbalise properly without sounding like a big sook so I'm not even going to bother writing them down. 

I'm just a big, fat hormonal mess. I'm missing DH. I feel like I have no one but him to turn to when I am upset and I can't even do that because he's working right now. Thank goodness for blogging or I would have to keep all of this inside.

Reminicising

All the grade 12's finished up school around here today. I've spotted a few driving round in cars with all kinds of stuff written all over the windows and doors. Most of them will be off to 'Schoolies Week' to celebrate finishing their high school careers. Brings back lots of memories. This time 10 years ago, this was me! I cannot believe 10 years has passed since I finished high school. It's weird but it seems like so long ago, yet not that far in the past. I guess I am also thinking about this because next week is our 10 year high school reunion which DH and I will be attending. I'm a little nervous about seeing all these people from my past. I wasn't the most popular girl in school, but I wasn't at the bottom of the social scale either. Somewhere in between. There are people that I am excited to see, but others who I would rather avoid. I suppose it will be an interesting night, to say the least. I figure pregnancy is always a good excuse for leaving early if I am having a particularly horrible time!!

Adding to my walk down memory lane..this time 9 years ago, I met my DH. I had just had my 18th birthday a few weeks before. A friend offered to take me out (and her BF at the time lived at DH's place) and said we could stay at the BF's place (which was close to all the night clubs/pubs). We turned up there early evening to get ready and head out and there was DH arriving home from work. He was an apprentice mechanic back then so was wearing his overalls and was covered in grease. I won't say it was love at first sight but it was definitely like. He ended up coming out with us and vied for my affections...he bought me drinks, danced with me and was generally just a nice guy that night. We ended up spending the entire weekend together, and that was pretty much it. I was his and he was mine. 

Then this time 1 year ago, I was gearing up for our first IVF cycle. I was also dealing with the birth of SIL's first child and my grandmother being admitted to hospital after a very horrific afternoon which was pretty much the beginning of the end for her. What a difference a year can make. 

And here we are today. 
Almost 32 weeks pregnant with our little FET miracle, SIL's child is turning 1 tomorrow, and my grandmother has been gone for over 4 months. Christmas is rapidly approaching and it really doesn't feel like almost a year has passed since I got my first BFP. It's also hard to believe that in less than 2 months we will hold our own baby in our arms. Something we have been waiting for since we started TTC back in August 2009.

So while life has thrown us a few curve balls along the way, it's all falling into place, piece by piece.

To Do List Updated

Hopefully I can cross off a few things on the list...


-pick out and have new carpet installed in baby's room (getting quote this Friday)
-have air con installed in baby's room (getting quote this Friday)
-pick up furniture (hopefully do this when DH is home next)
-put together furniture (hopefully when DH is home next)
-set up baby's room
-decorate
-wash all clothes, blankets etc and put away
-clean up 2nd hand swing I bought months ago-pack hospital bags for me and baby
-buy new mattress for bassinet
-set bassinet up in our room
-buy any last minute items (ie things I don't get at baby shower)
-baby shower (26 November)
-thank you notes for baby shower
-attend breast feeding and birthing classes (booked in for 30 November/3 & 4 December)
-have car capsule fitted (booked in for 30 November)
-cook some meals in bulk and freeze
-clean out kitchen cupboards
-clean out bathroom cupboard (half done...chucked out all the stuff we don't use..now just need to tidy up)
-finish painting bathroom
-clean out laundry cupboards
-clean out linen cupboard
-clean out study (it's become a dumping ground and it's a mess and I hate going in there)-decobweb outside of house
-wash windows (inside and out)-stock up pantry on basics/essentials
-agree with DH on a list of baby names (I can't believe we still don't have any names!!)
-make a list of people (with phone numbers) to call/text after the birth
-clean car inside and out (before capsule is fitted)

______________

So we are getting there slowly but surely! My parents came round yesterday and did the decobewebbing and cleaned all the windows (plus a few other chores around the house). Life savers! I am so lucky to have such wonderful, helpful parents! Love them to bits. Mum is coming back next week to help me clean the house top to bottom before the baby shower too which is a huge help as it's too overwhelming for me to tackle on my own and I just don't have the energy, especially now it's getting so warm!

I've had a busy weekend and got  to catch up with a few friends that are not able to attend the baby shower. Today I've phoned around organising to have people come out and give me quotes on the new carpet and the air con install. Friday is going to be a day spent at home waiting for tradies to show up...I've got the carpet guy, then a warranty guy looking at our current air con (which just died) and then another air con guy coming to give me a quote to install an air con in bubs room. And of course they can never give you an exact time...more like a between this and this time..with a space of 2-3 hours in between! Frustrating, but needs to be done. And once we sort that out we can get the last stages of bubs room underway so I can get to the fun part of decorating.

I've found some cute canvas prints to hang on the walls which tie in nicely with our space theme. They come in the set of 3. There are a few other items in this range which I might also get for the room too.

Planning

Had my ob appointment this afternoon. All is looking well with our little boy. He is now weighing in at around 2kg! The ob did another scan and he was busy sucking his hands. Very cute. When he took his hands out of his mouth his little mouth was opening and closing like he was having a drink...I swear I fall more in love with this little fella every time I see him on screen!! Ob said he is head down and in perfect position (if I was able to birth naturally).

Unfortunately my placenta is still covering my cervix. Bloody stubborn thing doesn't want to move. But there's nothing we can do to change it, so I have been booked in for my c-section. Which means we now know our baby boys birth date (only of course if all goes to plan and I don't start bleeding or go into labour before then)!! It's quite exciting to know exactly when he is going to make his entrance into the world. DH and I have decided to keep it a secret as we would still like be able to surprise everyone with the announcement of his arrival.

So for now-my lips are sealed!!

Counting Down

Well the countdown is really on now...I've past the 30 week mark so there's probably only 8 weeks (or less) until our little man arrives. Seriously, where has the time gone?!?!

I had my pre-admission appointment at the hospital on Monday. I got to meet with one of the midwives and she ran through my medical history then we discussed what kind of birth I was aiming for...not that I am getting a choice in the matter.

She was really lovely and when I explained about needing a c-section she said, 'well then we need to make that the best possible birth experience for you'. She gave me a complete run through of the c-section process and how it would all go (if all goes to plan) and gave me lots of information to take home and read. I was pleased to find out that we can have our own music playing during the surgery and that I can still have skin to skin time once baby is out and has been checked over.

She then got me up on the table to have a feel of where bub is laying and got the Doppler out so I could have a listen to his heartbeat. I swear I could never get tired of that sound. It was funny when I lifted my shirt up she said 'oh have you been running into the kitchen table with your belly?'. I had to think for a second and realised she could see my fading bruises from the Clexane injections. I explained and she asked how long ago I had stopped them. I told her at 12 weeks and she was shocked to see I was still bruised! I guess I don't notice them anymore. They have faded A LOT but are still visible...I wonder when they will ever go away.

She also got me to do a quiz which I am guessing gives them a bit of an indicator on whether you will be at risk of PND. I guess my answers gave me a high score (which doesn't surprise me given my prior history of depression and what has been going on this year..miscarriage, IVF, death of my grandmother etc) because she mentioned a Mental Health Nurse that works in conjunction with the hospital (and especially with expectant/new mothers) that I may like to talk to. It's nice that they are so on the ball with this but at this stage of my pregnancy I am not feeling the need to speak to anyone. I may feel differently once baby has arrived so I will hang on to her contact details.

I was so impressed with how kind and caring this woman was though. If all the midwives at the hospital are as lovely as her then I know we will be in good hands during our hospital stay after the birth.

DH went back to work today...not many more stints left for him before baby arrives. I think he is getting really excited! We got so much done around the house while he was home which was wonderful. Hopefully next time he is back then we will get the last few things done and will be all ready for our little man.

3D Scan Photos

smiles..look at those chubby cheeks!

sleeping peacefully

is it time to come out yet??

I am biased, but how cute is this kid?!?! 

I Think My Husband Is Nesting...

...and I must say I am jealous!!

I have not been inspired at all to start this so called 'nesting'. Sure, I have all these jobs around the house that I want done before baby boy makes his arrival...BUT I have no energy or enthusiasm to get them done. Perhaps I need to share my list with DH and he will do it for me?!?

Because right now he is obviously in daddy nesting mode! Since he has been home he has:

-laid the new kitchen floor
-fixed the deck (there were some rotten boards around the place)
-done a massive dump run and got rid of all the rubbish that was accumulating around the outside of the house
-cleaned out and de-cluttered our walk in robe (a job I wanted done but never even mentioned to him!!)
-cleared up the junk piles on our bedside tables (which were spilling onto the floor!)
-cleaned the air con filters
-cleared away my junk pile I had building on the dining room table
-started painting our bathroom
-helped me put together the pram (well actually I watched and handed him bits while he put it together...)

What a list! And he's still here until Tuesday morning so who knows what else will get done this weekend...

I am hoping that my nesting instinct kicks in soon, because I really need to get my butt into gear and at least finish baby's room...and despite being excited about getting it finished I am finding it hard to get inspired and find the right decorations which frustrates me and then I just give up.

As it is, I could be doing some nesting right now but instead I am still sitting in bed in my PJs. But my energy has decreased and my sleep is so disrupted every night with a million toilet breaks and the constant rolling from side to side to get comfortable...so the thought of even just cleaning the bathroom makes me want to curl up for a nap.

My pre-baby to do list keeps growing by the day and I am starting to wonder whether it will all get done. Baby will most likely be here in around 8 weeks...that's only 2 months! But I just don't know where to start.

Seriously, my list is HUGE! See for yourself..

-pick out and have new carpet installed in baby's room
-have air con installed in baby's room
-pick up furniture
-put together furniture
-set up baby's room
-decorate
-wash all clothes, blankets etc and put away
-clean up 2nd hand swing I bought months ago
-pack hospital bags for me and baby
-buy new mattress for bassinet
-set bassinet up in our room
-buy any last minute items (ie things I don't get at baby shower)
-baby shower (26 November)
-thank you notes for baby shower
-attend breast feeding and birthing classes (booked in for 30 November/1 & 2 December)
-have car capsule fitted (booked in for 30 November)
-cook some meals in bulk and freeze
-clean out kitchen cupboards
-clean out bathroom cupboard
-clean out laundry cupboards
-clean out linen cupboard
-clean out study (it's become a dumping ground and it's a mess and I hate going in there)
-decobweb outside of house
-stock up pantry on basics/essentials
-agree with DH on a list of baby names (I can't believe we still don't have any names!!)
-make a list of people (with phone numbers) to call/text after the birth
-clean car inside and out (before capsule is fitted)

Eeek...I really need to get my butt into gear.