16 Weeks

Thank you for all your wonderfully supportive comments on my last post. It's nice to know that others believe I am not over reacting to these comments. I have had a pep talk from a new mummy whose DF also works FIFO work in the mining industry and she has given me great hope too. I also had a big talk with my mum about it all, and she has just reaffirmed how amazing my family are and how supportive (and excited) they are about our baby. Mum has laid out how much she (and my dad) are prepared to help me out when DH is away. From laundry to housework to feeding me and walking the dog...they will be there with whatever I may need.

So after slightly doubting myself after some people's comments, I am now convinced more than ever that I am strong enough to face this challenge and know that I have a wonderful support system ready to back me up.

I am 16 weeks today and my belly has most definitely popped! I took my belly shot this morning and I can see a change compared with the earlier shots I have taken. Very exciting! Now I just need it to pop a little more so it shows through all my clothes...looking forward to a prominent bump!

Symptoms to date:

-tiredness (probably not quite as severe as the first trimester, but definitely have not got an energy boost yet)
-nasal congestion and bloody noses
-sore boobs (they seem to have stopped growing for now but are quite tender) and nipples
-veiny boobs/chest (now understanding why some books say you might look like a road map!)
-increased CM (it just keeps getting wetter and wetter down there...will have to buy shares in panty liner company!)
-feeling some slight flutters and bubbles (first movement!!)
-peeing frequently (night and day..)
-constipation
-headaches
-bleeding gums
-mood swings
-breathlessness (more so when I am out walking the dog..lots of hills near my place)
-crazy, vivid dreams & nightmares (mostly nightmares...so realistic. I wake up petrified!)

Think that pretty much sums it up. Ha...almost every single symptom listed in 'What To Expect When You're Expecting'...I'm textbook for once in my life!!

A Rambling Vent

*I apologise if this post seems all over the place. When I get worked up over something I tend to ramble*


I wish people would mind their own business...or at least have some tact...or something.

As most of you probably know my DH works away. He works in the mining industry in what is called a FIFO (Fly In Fly Out) position. His company flies him into the town where the mine is, they provide accommodation and food, he works for a few weeks and then they fly him home again. It's not a bad deal and the money is nothing to sneeze at either. He has been doing this for about 2.5 years now and despite being away from home, he enjoys the work.

Since we have announced our pregnancy, the most common question I have been asked (asides from 'when are you due?' has been 'is DH going to find a job closer to home once the baby arrives?'.

Short answer...'NO'.

For some people this then leads to some comments which range from 'oh wow you're brave' to the more bluntly (and dare I say it..rudely) put 'you will not cope without him home'.

Neither answer exactly thrills me, but the second one is really beginning to piss me off!!

First of all...how do they know I will not cope? Who are they to judge my coping abilities and my strength?

Secondly, do they think I am completely incapable??? Even if DH worked close to home, I will be the primary care giver and will be spending a lot more time with our baby then him.

I try to explain that realistically, DH works less than 6 months of the entire year. He will most likely get to spend more quality time with his child while working a FIFO job then if he worked a 'normal' 9-5 job closer to home.

Sure, I know that given it's our first child, there are going to be many learning curves.

Yes, I know that there will be sleepless nights involved and perhaps sometimes I will wish that DH is home to share this with me.

Of course I realise that caring for a baby takes up a lot of time and without a second pair of hands on deck that I may be wishing for a chance to shower or eat or do anything other than look after baby for 5 minutes.

I do not have unrealistic expectations of what this is going to be like. Some days will be better than others. There will be bad days, really bad days. But there will also be good days.

I have a wonderful support system who are not going to let me crash and burn on my own. My parents live less than 5 minutes away. My sister is dying to play aunty and lives about 20 minutes away. I think even MIL will be willing to help out sometimes (despite our differences). Plus I have wonderful friends to lean on as well.

It just really annoys me that people can make such judgements on my skills as a parent, and on our life...without even living it. None of the people who have made these rude comments have a FIFO partner so don't know what it's like to live like this. I would be much more accepting of their comments or advice if they were themselves in a similar situation...in fact I would be picking their brains on how they have survived and how it has worked/not worked for them.

I know that as my pregnancy progresses I will have to get used to people giving out (sometimes) unwanted advice and I can deal with that...but this to me is much more personal. Perhaps it's the hormones and I am being over sensitive....but whatever the reason, this is really beginning to bug me.

15 Weeks

First of all thank you all for the lovely comments. Makes me feel very special!!

Today marks 15 weeks...I cannot believe that I have been pregnant for 15 weeks or that I am now well and truly in the 2nd trimester. I am still finding it hard to believe that I am growing a little human inside of me right this very second...it's still quite surreal and I suppose it will be until I start feeling him move around inside me!

Today I put some baby things on lay-by. Target was having some sales and I decided it's time to start getting some of the more practical things together. Besides, there is so much to buy that I figure it's better to start now and gather it all bit by bit.

So today's lay-by consisted of:

-muslin wraps
-towels
-face washers
-bath thermometer
-bath seat (so we can bath baby in our big tub rather then having to use a baby bath and lug it to and from the sink to fill and empty)
-nappy bucket

Not a whole lot, but it feels good to be starting to get more of a stash together. I know it will all come together in the end, but I feel like I need to be doing something NOW! When DH is home next we will most likely make some decisions on the furniture for baby's room which will be fun.

I am using the Doppler each day to listen to bub's heartbeat and it's so reassuring. DH thinks it's funny that I need to use the Doppler every day but he isn't a worrier like me! I have felt what I *think* are some flutters...not 100% sure if it was movement or not, but I guess if it starts happening more regularly then I will know for sure that it's our boy moving about. I cannot wait until I can feel him kicking and moving...definitely make this growing a baby thing feel more real!

Some Excitement!

Had our ob appointment yesterday and all is going well. Blood pressure is perfect, NT risk came back at 1:10000 which is great and most importantly our little one is growing strong! I love that my ob does a scan at each appointment. It's really nice to be able to get a peek at our bub!

DH asked the ob when she started the scan if she could tell the sex (he has been dying to know if his guess of boy is correct). At first she couldn't see much as the cord was in the way and told DH he would have to be patient and wait until the 20 week scan (much to his disappointment) but she took another look when she had finished checking bub out...and while she wouldn't confirm 100% it looks like our little blob is a............





BOY!!!


Needless to say DH is over the moon (at having a son AND being right) and is already making plans for camping trips, moto riding, gun shooting and all that other manly stuff! I think it's going to be quite a number of years before he will be able to take bub out to do all this stuff but I didn't want to rain on his parade! The grin on his face when we left the appointment was just priceless!

How do I feel? Well I had a feeling that we were having a boy, and to be honest I have always imagined that DH and I would have a son first..so there you go. It looks like I am destined (for now) to be the only girl in a house of boys (even the dog is a male!) but that's ok with me. I am just thrilled the little human inside me is still there and doing so well!

I have told DH that I am holding off on buying any boy things until we have the sex confirmed at the 20 week scan though!! Doctor said we can have this scan between 19-20 weeks and it looks like DH will be away at work so I have invited my mum to come along (she is mega excited about this).

Another highlight of the past few days has been using the Doppler a friend lent me so we can listen to baby's heartbeat. I could sit there and listen to that little heart beating away for hours...it's just the best noise EVER!

Some Photos

Here's my photo post as promised.

The beautiful crocheted baby blanket that my aunt made (with some input from my grandmother).

Of course given that baby will be born in the middle of Summer, this piece will be purely decorative until we reach the cooler months.

A cute toy another aunt gave me. It squeaks and the dog is fascinated by it!




She also gave us some baby massage oil, wash cloths and this....




Some fluffy mail I received a few weeks ago.




Hoping to use these Itti Bitti Tuttos OSFM full time. Can just imagine our little one wearing these and having a super soft, fluffy bum!

And last but not least the gorgeous blanket my mum knitted just for me! It's so soft and warm.





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Are Those Really My Boobs?!?

Hopefully when I stop being so lazy I will have a bit of a photo post to share with you all in the next few days. But in the mean time you will just have to settle for words!

I have noticed in the last week or so that my under wire bras are very uncomfortable to wear, plus my ever growing boobs are just spilling out of them (not a good look)! So I bit the bullet today and went to get fitted for some maternity bras...The lady in the store was very helpful as I was standing there looking at the bras looking a little completely lost!! Before pregnancy I was size DD...and today I found out I am now an F cup!! OMG!! I was quite shocked, but I guess it can only get worse from here....I just hate to imagine how big my boobs might get by the end of this pregnancy...scary thought!! The bras (despite being huge) are super comfy. I ended up buying 2...1 black, 1 white so this should do for now.

I also invested in a pair of maternity pants the other day. They are just black dress pants so perfect for work and again...so comfy!! I think next on the list will be a belly belt so I can still wear my jeans, plus some longer tops as mine are getting a little short. I guess you can realise that I do have something of a small bump developing, which I am super excited about. I cannot wait to look pregnant..instead of just looking fat and bloated with big boobs!

I am slightly in disbelief that tomorrow marks the beginning of the 2nd trimester. I cannot believe that we have made it a third of the way without any problems! Feeling very blessed.

So my symptoms now include:

-tiredness (cannot wait for the 2nd tri energy burst!!)
-nausea (only when really, really hungry and this seems to be easing)
-increased boob size (hello maternity bras) & enlarged nipples
-sore/tender boobs and nipples
-slight baby bump (woohoo!!!)
-blocked sinus/bloody nose
-increased sense of smell
-itchy skin (mostly around boobs and belly..where my skin is stretching I suppose)
-peeing frequently (more so during the night but increasing in the day time hours now too)
-raging hormones (I feel so sorry for DH..he just cannot escape these mood swings whether I am on hormone meds or not)
-increased CM (let me just say-panty liners are my new best friend....)

I've also noticed that my skin and hair are less oily...surely something to do with all these different hormones coursing through my veins! Hahaha...

To be honest, I am really enjoying being pregnant. I have been so lucky to have missed out on morning sickness, I love seeing the changes in my body (yes even the big boobs) and knowing that there is finally a little human growing inside of me. So far, so good...and totally worth the wait!

Bit of an Update

The funeral was yesterday and it was beautiful. My grandmother was a Catholic so it was held at the church she (and my grandfather) attended for many years. My grandfathers funeral was also held here.

The coffin was covered in gorgeous flowers-too many kinds to name. One of my aunts had put together a slide show of photos of my grandmothers life. There were photos all the way back from when she was a baby. I did one of the readings as part of the Eulogy. I chose a poem that my grandmother wrote (she had a talent for poetry). I managed to read this out without crying or breaking down which was my aim. I was very proud of myself as I thought I would be too upset to follow through.

Afterwards, all the immediate family gathered down at my grandma's favourite beach spot. We had a picnic and spent the afternoon sitting in the sun. A perfect way to honour her memory as she would have loved to be doing this.

My family are all thrilled that I am having a baby. We have already received a few more presents (totally unexpected). One of which is a gorgeous baby blanket crocheted by my aunt (one of my mum's sisters). It is just beautiful-rainbow coloured and so soft. My grandmother actually helped her wind the yarn and choose the colours, so there is a little part of her in the blanket. I will post a photo when I remember to take one.

I went back to work today and decided that it was time to start sharing our news there too. Everyone I have told so far has been so happy and excited for me. With a few ladies who I am closer to I explained that we had to use IVF to get here but I don't think it's something I will disclose to everyone. I told my supervisor when I spoke to her on the phone this afternoon and she took the news well..I guess it's to be expected from a married person my age (sort of). She didn't have long to talk but we will speak again tomorrow and I will start the ball rolling to apply for my maternity leave!

DH is still home for another week which is lovely. We think his roster will be changing when he goes back to work which is quite annoying as we are currently trying to plan a holiday to New Zealand for sometime in August or September. It's mainly a trip to catch up with DH's relos, but also a chance for us to have a bit of a getaway before blob joins us next year. So now we have to hold off on booking any flights until we know what DH's work is going to do...

Happy News!

Well, I didn't wet myself and thankfully the scan place was running on time!!

We went in and got straight down to business. The tech had to ask me a couple of questions and then we got to the good part...viewing our little blob!

An immediate sigh of relief from myself when she pointed out it's little heart beating away and a second sigh of relief when she noted that blob was moving around. After that you couldn't wipe the smile off my face..or DH's for that matter!

Tech was impressed at how well behaved our little one was being. She got all her measurements done really quickly and without any trouble. She kept saying 'oh this baby is being so good to me'.

We got to see every inch of blob. I can't believe how thorough the tech was. It was great. She said everything looked perfect. I know we have to wait until the scan is combined with the blood tests for the risk factor of downs, but I'm fairly confident we will be low risk.

One of the best parts was hearing the heartbeat. DH hasn't heard this before so he was rapt! The smile on his face throughout the scan was just gorgeous!!

So feeling more confident about our chances of having a baby to take home..we decided to announce our news to friends, family and Facebook.

I decided to go for a slightly humorous approach to my Facebook post, whilst still trying to not hurt anyone who may be dealing with TTC & IF. It went a little like this...

IVF cycles: $15 000
Injections & medications: $4000
Doctors bills: $3000
Baby due 14/01/2012: PRICELESS!!

DH decided to go for a more simple approach and posted 'I'm going to be a dad'.

Our family members (who didn't already know) are very happy and excited for us. My mum was just uber happy when we took round the scan photos to show her and dad. She was also very excited to be able to share the secret she has been keeping! It was nice to see her so happy and smiling.

Great response from our friends, especially those who have known about our IVF journey for awhile now. Though I have yet to hear from my pregnant friend (the one who is due not long after Bubble would have been born). Which is slightly confusing...but I am not going to let that ruin our happy moment. We have waited so long for this and I don't want to let anyone or anything spoil it!

Here's a couple of my favourite shots from today's scan..I am totally besotted with this little bubba already!

It's Today!!

Our NT scan is in a few short hours. I am nervous. Really hoping to see a perfect baby and hear a heartbeat, but my paranoia has stepped in and keeps throwing the 'what ifs' into the mix.

DH believes it will all be fine and I am worrying for no reason. I would dearly love to be proven wrong in this situation!

Baby got it's first present from grandma and grandpa (my parents) yesterday.

Isn't he cute?!

Mum decided that she has waited long enough to start buying baby things. I think too that focusing on our baby will help her work through her grief and give her something positive and happy to focus on, rather than dwelling on her mothers death.

She picked this toy, not because she thinks baby is a boy, but because it was the closest to gender neutral that she could find.

Well I best prepare myself to fill up with water and hope that I don't wet myself trying to hold it in!


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She's gone.

I'm a mess. I can't get hold of DH who is still away at work until Wednesday. I just want to talk to him and see if he can come home tomorrow instead. A day early is better than being here in the house alone.

I know the next few weeks are going to be hard. My mum is going to be an even bigger mess. I remember how she was when my grandfather (her father) passed away, and it was awful.

My sister's birthday is on Thursday..have to make sure that despite this sad time we make sure she has a happy day. I'm not sure how we will manage this, but I'm going to try my hardest. My sister has had a rough year and she deserves to be spoilt on her special day.

And then there's the scan on Friday..how can we be celebrating a life and mourning another at the same time?!? It almost doesn't seem right, but I know that my grandmother would be thrilled for us and would not want us to hide our excitement.

I am pleased that she is no longer suffering or in any pain. She is at peace. And I keep trying to hold onto the thought that she has been reunited with my grandfather and they are together somewhere, looking down on us all.

I am taking comfort in the fact that my aunt (one of her daughters) was with her when she passed too. I am so glad she wasn't alone.

I'm sorry this is all over the place..just trying to sort through the million and one thoughts rushing through my brain.

RIP nanny. We all love you very much. You will be dearly missed. xx

I've been a bad blogger and a bad commenter and I am sorry. I am still reading along with all your blogs though.

My grandmother is still hanging on, but just barely. The doctors and nurses at the hospital feel that she doesn't have much time left. After seeing the deterioration between yesterday and today, sadly I think they are right. It was quite a shock to walk in this afternoon and notice how much she had gone downhill since the previous day.

There is not much we can do for her now, so we sit and massage her hands and feet (which are like ice) and talk quietly to her. It's nicer being there with someone else so I have gone with my mum the past 2 days. I don't know if I could sit there with her by myself..I think I would just cry. At least when mum is there I try and stay strong for her.

A nurse came and spoke with us while we were there today to give us an update. Most of her meds have been cut out. She is down to a whiff of pain relief, and something to help her sleep at night. She is not eating, but still drinking..though this is getting harder to help her with as she is having trouble swallowing. The doctor saw her this morning and didn't seem to think it would be much longer...he had trouble finding a pulse, and now when she is breathing you can hear that she stops every few breaths. Apparently this happens towards the end of life.

I am half expecting to get a phone call in the middle of the night from my mum to let me know she has passed away. I have told mum I don't care what time it is-I want to know..I need to know.

I feel so strange. Some moments during the day I am happy and excited thinking about this pregnancy...but right now I am just devastated about my grandmother and what she is going through. It is just heartbreaking to witness this going on for so long when clearly she has had enough, she has given up the fight. And then I wonder whether it's the right thing to be announcing my pregnancy at the end of the week and expecting my family to be happy..when they are going through this. At a bit of a loss...

A Third of the Way...

12 weeks! Never thought I would get this far into a pregnancy so it's quite exciting! I've noticed some bloggers doing a bit of a questionare for each week of their pregnancy, and I've wanted to join in with something similar...anyway I have finally found something a little bit different. The questions are actually out of one of the pregnancy books I am reading. It's called 'Up The Duff' and it's written by an Australian woman-Kaz Cooke. It takes a bit of a humourous look at pregnancy, while still being informative. I like it. She has some questions at the end of each week (well not every week) so you can keep a bit of a record of your pregnancy journey. So I'm going to steal them and use them for my blog! I probably should go back and look at the earlier weeks questions, but for now I'll leave you with a conbination of Week 10 and 12.

Now that you're getting close to the end of the first trimester, who have you told?

My mum and dad, my sister and her partner, DH's mum, Greensprout & Nani (2 blogging friends who I see in RL), plus of course anyone who reads my blog or posts on BubHub knows too!

This list will grow once we have our NT scan next week...after this we plan on going public!

What was their reaction?

Everyone has been really happy and excited and nervous for us (as they all found out as soon as we did..bar DH's mum who we told around the 8 week mark). Even DH's mum (who I didn't expect much of a reaction from) was actually really sweet when we told her.

If the baby's dad is on the scene, how does he seem to be reacting?

DH seems to be getting more excited as the weeks pass. He was nervous at first and reluctant to get excited until we passed the milestone of when I miscarried last pregnancy. After that he grew more confident that this pregnancy was actually going to result in a baby. Every time I talk to him on the phone while he is away at work he checks to see how I am feeling, what I have been eating, and double checks how far along I am (although he seems to remember this on his own mostly). It's very sweet.

What is he looking forward to? Does he have any worries?

I think he is really looking forward to the NT scan, though I think he is more keen for the 18-20 week scan when we can find out the sex of blob. He also seems to be quite keen to start work on blob's room.

I suppose his worries are the same as mine...that I will miscarry again. But as we get further and further along in the pregnancy I think he is relaxing more.